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I am forcing myself to the end.. Forcing myself to be busy.. Never to be free.. So that i wont have much time to think about other stuffs.. Everyone should know how much i love to relax and rot.. However, from todae on, i am going to force myself not to that relax.. Be busy.. Cos everytime i start to have nothing to do, images, thinkings and everything of him start to come back to my mind.. They are shaking my determination to give up.. Hope that all these busy moments can keep me away from him.. All the thinkings and stuffs.. Taking this time to complete all my assignments.. Prepare mood to study.. Get ready for tests and exams.. Study study study.. Nothing else le.. I am going to be a different me for this time ba.. Be the bookworm Kai Xin.. For the sake of myself and everyone.. Just to forget him.. Just to get over everything.. Just to be the old me again soon..

Today, i am feeling much better le.. I can at least have the mood to talk crap and rubbish le.. But still, the wound is there.. Not yet heal.. How long do i need? Walked in the rain.. Cried as i walked home.. All just bland together ba.. The number of raindrops should how hurt i am now.. How much hurt i have in me.. Nothing can take them away.. Nothing can ease the pain.. The hurt..

Just completed 6 out of 15 pages of my RWPS de report.. Still a long way till the end of it ba.. Hope i can finish them asap ba.. Have to hand in on mondae de.. Jia You to myself.. Believe i can do it de..

To everyone out there that knew the full story within these few daes, he was not in the wrong.. Dun blame him for wad had hapen.. If you all still cares about how i feel, please dun do anything to him.. Dun blame him.. I just wan everything to end in this quiet way.. This way where maybe he is happy.. This way where everything look so quiet.. This way where i wont see him bothered by wad peers around us say.. Thanks for not doing anything.. Thanks for being there.. I love all of you.. Thanks for helping me go through this difficult moment.. I appreciate all the things that you all do.. I just wana be alone for now.. Dun wana talk about wad happen le.. Please dun do things that will give me more troubles..

Think i stop here le.. Having terrible headach.. Just wana rest.. Hope i can just sleep well ba.. Take care everyone.. Please dun do anything for me.. I dun wan anything now.. Just let me be alone for the time being.. Dun wana talk about that matter le.. If you all love me, dun mention that matter to me nor him.. Thanks..

BDZZ: The one last thing that i failed to show you.. The thing that was on my neck.. Take care.. No matter wad, hope we can still be frenx ba.. Good luck in everything.. Hope you meet your target for this upcoming de GPA.. Jia you ba..


The last time me having that necklace there.. The fakest smile that i can give after wad happen.. It just belong to you ba..