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sorry for the delay.. and i will not be posting any pics today.. this entry is purely the thoughts that i have in my past entries.. for the one and only BDZZ in my life.. i hope you know who you are..

went to read all my past entries.. from the start till now.. and i quoted out some things.. will wana share it here once again..

Is it possible to make up? I did something wrong in the past.. I wana make up.. Can i? Only you can tell me ba.. I dun have the courage to sae it out ba.. If this chance slips away, i dunno wad i will do.. Who can tell me? Or who i tell? I really dunno.. Lost.. [Sunday, May 21, 2006]

Really wana wan hui but i dunno how to do it.. Who can teach me? [Monday, May 22, 2006]

Maybe keeping that qn buried is the best ba.. Cos i already got the slightest ans from you le.. [Tuesday, May 23, 2006]
I asked.. Know the ans lahz.. Although i asked it in a very bad way, i still asked.. And i dun get the ans i wan.. Nvm.. Forget it.. [Tuesday, May 23, 2006]

I decided not to ask le.. Dun wana make things worse.. [Wednesday, May 24, 2006]

My mind is in a mess.. You are right.. Every choice has a reason.. I dunno if choosing this road is correct or not.. I dunno if i have the courage or not.. Wad is the old Kai Xin that you see in? Wad are the things that you dun like about? Can i get rid of it? I am trying very hard to get rid of all these.. [Monday, June 26, 2006]
Think i stop here lahz.. Take care peers.. As for that person, the blog song is for you.. I dunno wad will happen.. Dunno wana face or run also.. Sorry.. I know you hate dunno.. But i am still the dunno de Kai Xin.. Sleeping soon le.. Good luck.. Jia you.. [Monday, June 26, 2006]
I am still waiting for your decision.. Let me know when you thought of it ba.. Pls dun hate my dunnos.. Cos i am really a Ms Dunno Ng.. [Monday, June 26, 2006]

I jux wish i can tell you ba.. People are eyeing on things.. I dun wish to miss wad i am eyeing at.. Dun wana regret.. but i jux dun have the courage ba.. Can you tell me wad to do about this matter? Who can tell me? Hope you can ba.. [Tuesday, June 27, 2006]

Why am i still lack of courage to tell you all these? Can you tell me why? I dun wana bother others le.. Cos he also having his own problem.. But i also dunno how to tell you ba.. Can you tell me wad to do? Please.. [Wednesday, June 28, 2006]

Send you quite alot of sms todae.. But only some were replied ba.. I really wish i can know wad you are thinking lorx.. The smile that i have on my face is brought by you.. And i hope it will never be gone ba.. Jux hope that i have more courage lorx.. [Thursday, June 29, 2006]

People that bring me laughter and smile jux doesnt stay by my side.. And in time that they dunno, they tend to hurt me in a way or so.. Somehow or rather, i am use to it le.. Not pinnig hopes that they will alwaes be there for me.. [Sunday, July 02, 2006]

*Better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all* [Monday, July 03, 2006]

I wish i know wad you are thinking.. Wad is running up there.. I hope you can tell me everything.. But i guess, i am jux asking for too much ba.. I will never know all these.. Share with me when you wan to ba.. Take care of yourself.. [Wednesday, July 05, 2006]
*To be or not to be. It is jux a question. [Wednesday, July 05, 2006]

Changed the song in this blog for the one and only.. [Wednesday, July 05, 2006]
*You never lose by loving. You always lose by holding back.* [Wednesday, July 05, 2006]

TO BDZZ: This blog song is for you.. Hope you get the lyrics ba.. [Thursday, July 06, 2006]

Thanks for the care and attention that you gave me since last night becasue of my eye ba.. My stand is still not firm.. Wad you did shake it.. If you really mean wad you sae that dae, pls dun shake my determination.. Thanks.. [Sunday, July 16, 2006]

BDZZ, i will end everything at where it started.. And so it shall end soon ba.. At the same event.. Jux that i think i am hoping for miracle ba.. But i know i should not.. I should jux move on.. Sorry.. [Tuesday, July 18, 2006]

BDZZ: I learnt not to sae 'dui bu qi'.. All i need to sae to you now is 'i love you'.. Take care.. Hope you meet your target for the results.. Jia you.. [Tuesday, August 01, 2006]

Give me time to take them away bit by bit.. I still have hope now..I dunno why.. Talking is alwaes easier den actions.. I really need alot of time as i have put in alot.. I miss you.. [Wednesday, August 02, 2006]

*So near yet so far. It was in my reach. But i cant seem to take it. Looking at it, i asked myself, where is his? Thrown? Left aside? Treasure? I will never know. I will never asked. Cos i am afraid that the truth hurts. Hope i can be back soon. It cant goes on. Really cant go on.* [Saturday, August 12, 2006]

*I chose not to talk on that topic cos i will think of you more and more. I miss those days where everything was so fun. So loving. So sweet. Take care. Study hard. Good luck. I know i should learn to let go. But i just cant do it. I am struggling with it.* [Thursday, August 17, 2006]

*At that moment, i wish i had a choice of not letting it go. But i know i no longer have the right to hold onto it. I still have hope in it.* [Wednesday, September 06, 2006]

*The him yesterdae was my son.. I dunno how you feel after i told you it was a him holding onto me.. I hope i have the courage to ask.. But i didnt.. I walked alone bravely through that dark road.. I know that i will meet wad i fear the most there.. But i still chose to be brave to walk it alone.. Because i wanted to get to your side.. Somethings cant be controlled..* [Saturday, September 16, 2006]

*Maybe wad we are now is happier ba. Although some time, i wish for a change. But i think that it is impossible de. We know it very well ba.* [Monday, September 18, 2006]

*i thought everything was easy.. but i came to realise that it was very hard.. your actions seem to give me a wrong thinking ba.. i seriously wish that i can know wad you are thinking lorz.. or should i just do as i sae?? please give me more hints.. [Monday, November 13, 2006]

*todae also mark the end to everything and taking away all hopes that i have in you.. everything is over.. i have to learn.. [Friday, December 01, 2006]

can i really put down?? up to this moment, have i put down?? i can say NO.. i still have hope.. still have dreamz.. although time and again, you destroyed it.. but i still believe.. i dunno why.. i hope i can get the ans.. but...... i dun seem to..

there is a saying that people only learn to treasure when they lose something/someone very important.. my qn to you is, do you really think that you will regret when you lose me??? i seriously dunno.. i hope you can ask yourself ba..

i dun wish to say much.. everything that i wana say, is in this entry.. you know how i feel.. but i still doesnt know about you.. omg!! i feel like a failure la.. haiz.. forget it man..