kaixin

2010-05-16T23:02:00.001+08:00

626

Last day..

Today marks the end of the countdown.. Everything was not planned at all.. It was just purely fate.. I didn't plan that the dinner will also be on this day.. As you are the one who chosen the day.. Was it part of ur plan.? I doubt so too.. As we seems to randomly picked this day over the phone.. Or do you even remember this countdown that we are having.?

We known each other exist in this world since 2003.. However, we both only starts to know each other better and develop feelings in the mid-atumn festival of 2005.. Everything went well and we started off as a couple on 17122005.. At aloha loyang chalet.. The night that I fall asleep in ur hugs.. The night that changed alot of things in my life from then on..

Honeymoon period was meant to be sweet.. And hopefully long.. Ours ended short because of my character and I let you down.. Causing you to feel heart broken and sad.. I'm so sorry.. But I'm also experiencing the same pain as you are during the night that everything ended.. I nv expect it to be so difficult to let go of you..

I still continue loving you even we ended.. You know about my feelings too.. And I do get on your nerves most of the time because of this.. We have been together and breaking up 4 times le during this long 5 years run.. And this time round, things are so different.. So much high and low that we have been thru.. The changes that happen to both of us too..

Are we able to kick this habit away.?

This time round, will things be like the past.? Fate shall decides ba.. I think we both need a good rest le..

Dear dear.. Thanks for everything that you did and brought into my life.. The memories will always be there.. Sorry that I'm always the one letting you down.. Making you pissed when I dun listen to you.. I fulfilled my last promise to you by driving you up the hill.. And that will be the only time.. Ding Yang aka 黄宝贝, I Love You.! Thanks for loving me.!

XOXO
Kai Xin aka 洪宝贝

2010-05-15T20:20:00.001+08:00

625

2 days..

Friends are people who are always there for everyone.. Encouraging you.. Helping you along the way.. Thanks for always being there..

My nail polish are coming off le.. Gona remove them on my own le.. Cos dear dear can't help me to do it le.. Dear dear when will you be able to do it again.? Oopx.! Miss you lots lots..

2010-05-14T22:36:00.001+08:00

624

3 days..

Have you ever feel that you lost your true self once you are in a relationship.? Are you still able to do wad you wan when you are in a relationship.? Able to reach out your dreams.? Work towards it.? I'm still trying to find out if I have lost anything.. But up to this moment, I dun think I have.. wad about you.?

Dear dear know that I very lazy to drive car back home every Sunday after working at market as I still needa go back and fetch mum and dad.. So he always make the extra effort to come to commonwealth to fetch us home.. Dear dear.. So sorry for always wasting ur petrol.. Oopx.!

2010-05-13T23:20:00.001+08:00

623

4 days.,

Congrats.. For finishing all your papers le.. Glad to hear that they aren't as difficult as the past year papers.. Hehe..

I'm a woman that doesn't know how to cut / trim my nails.. And dear dear is always the one that help me to mend it.. Cutting and filing it.. Super sweet of him right.? Hehe.. Dear dear.. Thanks..

2010-05-13T00:27:00.001+08:00

622

5 days..

How many people out there are contented with only 1 person.? I wonder this myself also..

We are so different in every way, every character.. But how did we come so far.? I seriously wonder.. All I know is..... I never regret being with you 5 years ago.. Though there are unhappiness as and when, but there are also happy times.! Hehe.. Dear dear.. Thanks for all the memories..

2010-05-11T22:37:00.001+08:00

621

6 days..

Seeing alot of people around leaving one by one.. I'm starting to think who is the next one.? Each leaving and left a hard impact to each of us ba.. Will my leaving leave an impact on you too.? I hope there isn't.. Cos I dun wana see you sad..

Everything I do is for you.. And everything you do is also for me.. For these past few years, we seems to be putting each other in front of ourselves (unknowingly).. Thinking to let each other being happy even if we have to go thru a tough patch.. Are we both starting to grow and think wiser.?

2010-05-10T22:39:00.001+08:00

620

7 days..

In a relationship, everything is about give and take.. When there are arguements or unhappiness, each tend to think that the other half took them for granted.. But think back...... Are there times when your other half really do alot of things for you but you neegected him/her.? Spend some time to sit down and think, you will realize alot of things in your relationship and also the things that you missed out in the past..

The first night we started off as a couple was in chalet.. And I fallen asleep in your hugs.. That was the sweetest moment of my life and whenever I look at the photo, I can still feel the sweetness in that scene..

2010-05-09T22:48:00.001+08:00

619

8 days..

Marriage is the fruit of two people being together.. The starting of life together as one family.. Depending on each other more and more.. To many people, is an important day of their life.. Cos they are no longer living as one person but as a couple.. Losta things can happen on this day from the start to the end.. But is marriage cos of love.? Baby.? Habit.? Final stage of being together.? Time.? I guess deep inside each individual, he/she knows why he/she is standing there saying 'I do'..

I'm very prompt of having blisters around my ankle as I love to look pretty in shoes that I wear.. Even though I know it will cause me to have blisters.. Dear dear was very sweet to buy me 2 packets of the blisters plasters that day when he went to Watsons.. Hehe.. Thanks alot.! I'm still using it.!

2010-05-08T23:54:00.001+08:00

618

9 days..

In life, there is alot of first time and we shared alot together.. The book that written alot of our first time.. When can we start writing it again.? Today is short.. Cos I'm lost.. Time for a break..

2010-05-07T23:19:00.001+08:00

617

10 days..

Shopping.. It does make a person happy but also a hole in the pocket.! Oopx.! That's wad happen to me today.. Wohahahaha..

Whenever dear dear is around, I seldom get to drive manual car.. Only except for surprise visit with dear dear house de cars.. Hehe.. And I believe my drving skills lorx.. Hehe.. Dear dear also have faith in me ba.. I guess so.. Hehe.. Only he knows it ba..

2010-05-06T23:15:00.001+08:00

616

11 days..

Everyone being saying, keep yourself as busy as possible and you dun have time to think about other things.. I used to think that it is just running away from problems.. It doesn't really help.. But today, I sank into this stage.. Working my whole day out.. Dun wana have any time to myself.. Dun even wana come here.. But I guess I just gona face it de.. Can't keep running.. Today is not just a normal day to me ba..

Dear dear have a bad memory (towards things between us).. But I can see his effort in trying by putting them in his calendar.. I always love to test him with everything.. Though I know his memory is limited, I just love the way he look when he is trying to crack his head.. Oopx.! Didn't mean it.. Just love you ba.. Keep thinking about the sweet sweet time that we have together ba..

2010-05-05T18:51:00.001+08:00

615

12 days..

It is always easier to say others den to say about urself.. Is easier to give advise to others but when you are facing it, things seems to be different le.. Is it that you are always blind by urself.? I dun get it ba.. When others face troubles, I'm always able to advise them to look at the bright side.. Help them to solve problems.. But now, I can't even help myself..

You always says that I'm your big baby.. So big le but still dunno how to take care of urself.. Everytime also need you by my side to help me.. Hehe.. I know that sometimes my character do make you angry that you wana kill me.. But dear dear.. I'm really trying.. But occassionally, it's good to have you to take care of me.. Hehe..

2010-05-04T22:30:00.001+08:00

614

13 days..

Parents brought up each child with 2 dreams.. First: To look after them when they grows old.. Be it rich or poor.. Second: Child to be healthy and happy.. But how many child outside can fulfil both the dreams.? Especially the first one.. Look around.. How many of the people you know have done both the dreams.? And I gona admit.. I can't do it.. But I'm still trying to do so..

Being long since I ate mama de cooking le.. And I really miss it alot though it is always so late.. Especially豆豆汤.. When can i get it again.?

2010-05-03T20:21:00.001+08:00

613

14 days..

How many of you out there fall in love with your heart.? And how many of you out there fall in love with your head.? What's the difference.? Does anyone knows.? With your heart, things tends to be irrational.. Tends to be a choice that you choose with no specific reason.. You tends to follow the feelings and give it a try.. A shot.. With your head, everything has been planned and there is nothing to worry cos no matter what hoes wrong, your brain will infrom you to stop and dun give it a try.. Which one do you think is the best way to be in love.?

We used to exchange our loves with promises like, for me, 'Dear, 我爱你一万年！', and for you, 'Dear. I love you one million year! '. The sweetest thing that I always love to hear.. To show that our love is ongoing.........

2010-05-02T09:44:00.001+08:00

612

15 days..

Money.. How many of us actually go holiday using savings.? Or do you go holiday using your monthly salary and by the time you are back, you are left with nothing.?

In the past, I dun believe in savings.. I will spend every single cent that I have with me.. I only starting savings after dear dear wanted me to do so.. And I nv regret it.. I know all he wanted was for my good.. For me to enjoy myself also.. Dear dear.. Thanks for teaching me so many things..

2010-05-01T23:43:00.001+08:00

611

16 days..

Holiday.. A day to relax and enjoy yourself but I spend most of it working.. Nv thought that this job will be tough from the start.. But now..... I guess I'm use to it le ba.. Working might be an advantage for me also.. To know more people.. To understand individual.. To be able to work with different people ba..

Wine.. Something we both enjoy alot.. Especially your favourite, Brown Brothers.. There was one night we went to NTUC just to get wine.. And we bought 3 different types of wine.. We finished 1 bottle and relaxed with watching a movie also.. A very enjoyable and relaxing night for us..

2010-04-30T22:11:00.001+08:00

610

17 days..

Communication.. Is the key to alot of things in the world.. The most important key to understanding also.. If there is problems surfacing but no one wana talk it out, nothing can be solved.. Problem is still there.. Is just a matter of time for it to happen again.. The key to communication is to be able to share.....

The first time I went drinking with my agents, dear dear went out with his meis.. He came to office first and bought me dinner.. Fetched me there and went off for his movie.. He came to pick me up after his movie but was lost.. He went round and round alot of times.. But he nv throw his temper at me at all.. Dear dear.. Thanks for being so patient with me.!

2010-04-29T20:10:00.002+08:00

609

18 days..

In life, there is always s limit to everything that is happening around.. Limit of patience.. Limit of giving in.. Limit of loving.. Limit of playing.. Limit of drinking.. Limit of spending.. Etc.... But when will one person know that the limit is exceeded.? I never seems to realize also.. Is there any books or explaination to teach us.? I wish there is......

Where ever I'm at.. Whatever timing.. Dear dear is always there for me.. A call away.. A SMS away.. No matter wad happen or quarrel we have, dear dear seems to forget everything very fast.. Or did he just pretend that he did.? No matter wad, thanks for all the things you did..

2010-04-28T08:50:00.001+08:00

608

19 days..

We are all brought to this world with organs and health.. However, how many of us really do take good care of them.? Without good care, they will fail us.. But before we complain about how our body fail us, think back.. We seems to fail them first.. And I happen to fall in the category whereby I didn't take care of them.. Even if I start to take care now, what had happened can't be undone ba.. But am I able to make it up.?

06/11/2009
ChunHui organize her 21st birthday on this day.. It happens to be our 1 year and 5 months anniversary also.. We happen to think that she is celebrating on the sat not fri.. Gona work that day and pick up losta things including her cake.. Balloon.. Presents.. Didn't have the car.. But my wonderful dear dear borrowed his daddy's car to let me drive cos he is having lesson that night.. Know that both our cars de signal handle are different, he went to buy ribbon and tied it at the signal handle so that I will remember.. He also bought me a boutique of flowers which really touches my heart alot.. Dear dear.. Thanks alot for always doing small small things to touch my heart and brighten my day.!

2010-04-27T03:42:00.001+08:00

607

20 days..

In life, you are always given a choice to choose.. However, sometimes your right to choose might be taken away from you by some surrounding factors and people.. Sometimes the choice that you make will results in regret and disappointment in yourself and others.. But was that the choice that you always wanted or was it something that you have to do due to surrounding factor.?

I'm actually thankful to dear dear for nv forcing me to give up my right to choose.. No matter how much he wanted to bring me to dentist when I'm having toothache, he nv once really forced me to go.. He always gives me the right to choose.. The right to do wad I really wanted.. Dear dear thanks alot.! Really.! Without you, I might not have grown up and know that so many things actually happen in our 5 years of long run..

Exams are coming for you le.! Just wana tell you 加油.! You can do it de.! 加油加油加油！

2010-04-26T08:26:00.001+08:00

606

21 days..

Many people tends to change as time goes by.. However, some maintain.. Look around and you might be able to feel who changes and who didn't.. For the good or bad, it is all up to the individual..

In these 5 years, we both changes alot.. From looks to characters to size (oopx) to feelings to the way we show our care and concern to the way we think ba.. We might not have say it out but the way we do it shows everything to the people around and ourselves ba..

2010-04-25T15:42:00.001+08:00

605

22 days..

Some things once you get use to it, it is difficult to be removed from your life le ba.. Wad to say the way you call people.. Once I'm just to call you 'eh', I will always call you that.. Maybe 1 day if I'm going to change the way I call you, will you answer me.? That's an answer that not much people can provide ba..

We drove up to genting using ur Subaru and went into the casio.. My first time sia.. Hehe.. Plus using peifen's ic.. Placing small bets and walking around with you.. Feel so fun and excited to be inside ba.. Plus the car's aircon gives out ice also.! Omg.! When will we drive up again.? Hehe..

2010-04-24T19:22:00.001+08:00

604

23 days..

Had a wonderful night yesterday.. Thanks.. Does a person looks affects everything that others thinks about him / her.? Is love gona change also when the other person's looks change.? Love is just so complicated ba.!

There was one night, you came to my hse but didn't inform me and I had fallen asleep le.. You bu she de to wake me up so you left shortly after reaching.. I dun really remember why you came.. Maybe we had a quarrel or something ba.. But dear.. Thanks for all the effect you have put in to make me happy and love you even more.! *muackz*

2010-04-23T19:45:00.001+08:00

603

24 days..

Struck in a very difficult position again.. Totally lost and frustrated about wad is the next step to do le.. To say or not.? I really can't decide.. Maybe time will show itself ba.. Just hope that all friendship can still maintain even though wad happen..

You came to look for me with ur bicycle after installing the stand and cycle me from home to the park at ur house area to taman jurong area.. We had an enjoyable evening with just the cycling.. To train my dear dear and slim down.. Hehe..

2010-04-22T08:10:00.001+08:00

602

25 days..

Everyone is right.. Why do we all look back when we know that we all will have regrets in it.? Do you really wana leave the world with losta regrets.? Think about it.. Life is so fragile.. Nobody will get to know wad will happen today or tmr.. Not me.. Not you..

To everyone out there, If you can really predict something bad is going to happen to your closest person, is it only den you will realize how important and how much you wanted them to live on.? Is it only den will you really fulfil the things that he/she wanted in life.? Wad if time isn't enough.? Are you going to regret again not doing this, not doing that.? Wad I'm trying to drive to is 'treasure the ones around you, dun always wait till the last minute or the day that you lost him/her.'

We arranged to watch midnight movie at JP.. But I didn't have car that day as dad was going for prayers.. And you can't get the car also as you have lessons on.. Didn't wana disturb you also.. Hence, wanted to get ur Subaru with korkor's help but papa isn't home yet.. Hehe.. At my wits end, I borrowed korkor's car to fetch you from class and also to give you a big surprise.. Haha.. I guess you are also stun by korkor and my actions.. Oopx.!

2010-04-21T08:31:00.001+08:00

601

26 days..

Haix.. Yesterday was bad.. Boss wan me to tell one of my agent that we wan them to bring in more business else.........

Super dunno how to say la.. Why must I be put in such a difficult position.? I just dun get it.. Shrugs.!

Stomach is slightly better le.. And mood also better le.. Guess they are linked together ba.. Haha..

Can't seems to log in my computer in office.. Gona wait for the IT person to come.. Which mean I can slack for 1 hour plus plus.. Oopx.!

All these while, I always wanted a DS lite.. So a few days before my birthday, we took bus to AMK to buy it.. Hehe.. And also went to Marina Barrage to see see.. We even played with the machine that can take photo and emailed each to our email acc..

2010-04-20T08:33:00.001+08:00

600

27 days..

Back at office le.. Can't take anymore leaves or mc le.. Super losta things waiting for me.. Mum and dad keep nagging about my tummy and mum wana bring me to gynae to check.. Zzz.. Dun wana go...

Anyway, I made a promise to you and I shall keep it.. So sorry about all the troubles..

I came into office to work during the weekend.. And you came by to give me a surprise visit.. Hehe.. Thanks alot..

2010-04-19T08:47:00.001+08:00

599

28 days..

First day back to office.. The cramps came back when I reached office.. Cried in office just now as the pain is unbearable.. Omg.!

Alot of people asked me why I love eeyore so much.. My answer is....... Eeyore was brought into my life by the person that I truely loves alot.. Without him, I won't even know eeyore.. Without him, I dunno alot of things.. Thanks dear..

2010-04-18T12:41:00.001+08:00

598

29 days..

We had a talk that day.. And I regretted my actions.. My decisions.. But I guess I dun have a choice anymore as I do not wana hurt you anymore.. I really dunno wad will happen in the future.. Just hope that everything will be right..

I wanted to walk on the bridge along Alexandra.. Hence drag you along.. Hehe.. We walked for dunno how many hours just to reach mount faber.. Haha.. And back down again cos of the car.. And I guess we are both so tutu de.. But was really fun and enjoyable walk.. Hehe.. Thanks for always giving in to meet my stupid suggestions at times.. Hahahahahaha..

2010-04-17T02:26:00.001+08:00

597

30 days.. The countdown will start from today on..

The weather outside now is exactly the same as my heart now.. Lying alone in my bed, I yearn for ur hugs.. Ur warmth around me..

22/03/2010
After so many months, this is the first time I bought you breakfast again.. Spending the whole day just with you.. Relaxing and enjoying ourselves.. I really miss those times......

2010-04-16T08:39:00.001+08:00

596

3 days of MC.. But not a single day of sleeping late.. Heavy rain this morning.. But still gona wake up early to send dad to office for his Genting trip..

I love those cuddles and hugs that we use to have especially during raining weather as I'm always afraid of the cold.. You are always my heater.. My warmer..

2010-04-15T05:59:00.001+08:00

595

Morning.. Can't really sleep the whole night as the pain is still there.. Zzz.. Unbearable.. 

I really didn't mean to say that yesterday night.. Please dun take it to heart.. Sorry sorry sorry..

In the past, whenever my tummy doesn't feel well, you will always buy me hot foods and help me to apply medical oil to it.. Miss those times..

2010-04-14T07:35:00.002+08:00

594

Just got home from the hospital.. Wana thanks way way and ah Wei for sending me there last night..

The pain is still there and doc can't figure out wad pain is that.. Omg.! So practically just sleep there and took 1 injection..

The last time that i went ro NUH is bcos you didnt wana go back to camp.. So you went to take MC at NUH.. I accompanied you there but was super shag.. And ended up going back to the car to sleep.. Oopx.!

2010-04-13T08:10:00.001+08:00

593

Life is short and unpredictable.. You can see this person for one moment and they might be gone in the next.. Learn to forget the unhappiness and think more of the happy moments.. Dun look back at the unsolve problems.. As they are just some unhappy moments..

You bought me 'giant' eeyore for Xmas.! Bring it to my hse before going for Xmas eve de BBQ.. But I dun wana take.. Hehe.. Wana take it after midnight only.. So you gona carry it around.. Haha..

2010-04-12T08:34:00.001+08:00

592

Bad weekend for me cos I have being thinking and thinking.. Everyone is right.. I should be more determine and not let anything around me to shake my decision.. Though it is really tough but ultimately, I'm the only one going through this with all the support from everyone around me.. Thanks alot to everyone who are always there for me.. Without you all, I might not have the motivation to be strong and be determine about my decision ba..

Everytime we goes out, I'm the one leading the road.. Hehe.. A human gps that will make mistakes.. Oopx.! I know that some time I do make you angry with me for bringing you to the wrong road.. Really sorry.. But thanks for always trusting me though you know I might make mistake..

2010-04-11T01:53:00.001+08:00

591

Just woke up by my leg muscle cramp.. Shrugs.! As usual, dear dear came into my mind..

I really miss those times when I had muscle cramps and you are always there.. Helping me to stretch and listen to my woes..

2010-04-10T17:57:00.001+08:00

590

First time using iPhone de app worx.! Hehe.. Wonder how it looks like also.. Watching Down With Love now.. Super funny.. Haha..

In life, does everyone only remember the bad and not the good.? Decided to face it and not run anymore.. Wad about you.? *curious*

We went to GENTING together.. Hehe.. Our first *honeymoon*.. hehe.. Though I'm having exams soon.. But still went with you.. Cos I just wana spend more time with you ba.. Hugging together in the night.. And you have to look after me cos of my weak weak stomach.. Thanks alot for all the troubles of having to warm the plain water every now and then in the night..

2010-04-09T18:14:00.003+08:00

589

In life, there are ups and downs.. Sometime you are so looked upon by others.. Sometime you might be thrown down to the lowest of the pit.. But think back.. Who are the people who are always there to help, listen and accompany you whn you are down.? These people are called friends.! And how many does each of us hv in this world? How many can they confide in.? It all depends on the individual..

When you are having ur confinement in tekong, it was the longest seperation that we have.. So as to not make you worry about me, I wrote all my 'miss' in email and send to you.. Really miss those days when I'm emailing you.. And awaiting the day that you will finish reading them.. Just like this place ba.. A place which has been going on for so long but you are seldom here..

2010-04-08T09:45:00.002+08:00

588

两个相爱的人不一定能／要在一起。有很多时候只要miss过时间和缘分，生命就会有很大的changes。你我是这样吗？

when we first celebrated my birthday, you gave me 'or lu lu'.. You gang up with the rest to lie to me that you met with an accident.. We were all so panic that we ran down immediately.. My heart was telling me to be faster.. I can't lose you.. Dunno why this thought came in also.. But it was at that time, I realize how much I wanted to be with you.. 5 years le.. Is this still my ans.?

2010-04-07T21:26:00.002+08:00

587

here again.. Actually had made a new decision this morning le.. Quite happy with it.. But will still continue here.. Cos my memory are failing me soon..

You have to serve the government le.. Didn't wan you to go but I can't go against the law.. Spend the last night with you and fell asleep before you.. You wrote me a note..

亲爱的Dear Dear

我爱你！

虽然你smelly smelly, 可是我爱你！
虽然你stubborn, 可是我爱你！
虽然你attitude, 可是我爱你！
虽然你lazy, 可是我爱你！

因为你是我的唯一！

黄宝贝
aka
zhu zhu

2010-04-06T08:09:00.002+08:00

586

All are just going to be meomories le..

We went to the zoo together for the first time on 01082008.. Walked around and took losta photos.. It seems like the first time we go to zoo.. Like 2 kids.. Or am I the only 1 kid.? Haha.. Who cares anyway..

2010-04-05T07:20:00.002+08:00

585

morning everyone.. New week.. New start.. Feeling fresh today.. Every unhappy things will be the past le..

The day that you gave me the special ring together with the necklace, I was so surprise.. All these while I thought you had threw it away le.. But I guess I was wrong.. I never regret giving this relationship another chance.. Never ever regretted this decision that we made together and all the things that happen during all these months..

2010-04-04T06:20:00.002+08:00

584

will be coming here for often le.. Wana list down the happy moments that we had in the past.. Before I forget everything..

For our first month anniversary, dear dear bought me an eeyro that can holds my hp.. The present might be small and something he bought very last min but it is something that has been accompanying me for 1 year plus whenever I'm at work.. It is always there looking at me with his small eyes that look exactly like 'you'..

2010-04-03T14:57:00.001+08:00

583

looking at everone around me, I just wana help them to untie things and problems in their heart.. Be it with them or their other half..

2010-03-10T23:45:00.002+08:00

582

been zillion years that i''m here le.. But I really dunno where to go now.. We just had a quarrel which has been very normal these few weeks.! I wana have a talk with him.. But he is nv giving me a chance.. Do you understand how piss off I get.. I wana talk.. Why can't you let me do so.? I dunno wad went wrong.. Every couple that faces problems get to sit down to talk and discuss but ours always seems to be one-sided.. Why is it so.? 

2009-05-23T12:26:00.002+08:00

581

being long since i last came here.. doubt much people come here too..

blogging now cos i'm so bored.. nothing to do. trying to waste some of my time here.. actually was thinking of going into office today de.. but guess not la.. dunno wad to do there also.. though i got some work left la.. hehe.. just plain lazy ba.. oopx.!

anyway, life have been sso busy recently due to a colleague that has been on MC since last week or so.. have to clear all her things and also my own things.. enn so busy busy la.. that i didnt even know where my 8 hours of work went to everyday.. omg.!

yesterday wasthe worst.. i didnt even know it was time to go home le till i'm at the last transmission.. cant believe myself lorx..

but the good thing is i wont be so bored la.. and also i'm getting being well with most of the colleagues there.. so ok la.. pros and cons lorx..

gona go le. go and think how to disturb that dear dear of mine.. hehe.. take care folks.!

2009-04-17T23:48:00.002+08:00

580

back.. being very stress and busy at work these few days.. omg.! rushing and rushing.. good news to share i have being confirm le.. hehe..

dear dear is away for tonight.. will only be back tmr night.. zzz.. and dad's leg is not feeling well again.. very worry for him..

down with flu and cough and sore throat recently.. suffering like hell.. dear dear bought me logzenes today.. thanks lots..

totally dunno wad to blog sia.. omg.! work is just so stress out.! argh.!!

2009-03-26T18:45:00.002+08:00

579

i'm back here again.. everytime i'm here, it just meant that my mood isnt good.. today is really bad that i'm crying while blogging..

my partner have been on leave since yesterday and might only be back on monday.. which i have to work independently now.. handling agents.. for both iii and srp.. even things that i never did before,i have to try to check around and figure out how to do.. stress is really there..

work is bad.. relationship is bad too.. dear dear is injured now.. hope you get well fast.. sorry that i'm not perfect.. from the start, you know that i'm demanding.. you are the only one around me that doesnt give me stress.. but i guess from today on, it is going to be different.. i have to learn to control everything that is coming out from me.. i can never be like the past.. so carefree when we are together.. sorry..

being long since i hid myself in room to let myself go.. let tears flow.. i guess, nothing in this world last forever.. even the slightest happiness..

i guess now i just wana be alone.. cry my heart out.. let myself go.. i'm being under too much stress.. omg.!

2009-03-12T22:37:00.001+08:00

578

THIS POST IS MY DEAR DEAR.! DUN ANGRY LE.!

*muackz*

2009-02-14T22:34:00.002+08:00

577

HAPPY VALENTINE DAY TO ALL THAT ARE LOOKING AT THIS ENTRY.!

just got back home not long and is on the phone with dear dear.. we spend the day out last night.. hehe.. and i enjoyed myself alot.. hehe.. thanks dear dear..

we had a cake decoration session in the afternoon.. was suppose to wait for 3 hours before we can decorate.. however, dear dear went to cut queue (super evil) and we did not have to wait at all.. yipee.!

dinner was at my house.. spagetti.. cooked by both of us.. and yesh.! it is edible.. not kidding..

after that we fall asleep till mummy and daddy got back... eaten the cake.. and i send him back..

super tired now.. think i'm off to my bed le.. take care everyone out there.. today is the day for everyone to enjoy.. especially girls.. so even if your other half is making our day bad, smile and things will be over.. hehe..

2009-02-03T19:37:00.000+08:00

576

HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR TO ALL.!

sorry that i'm abit late.. but not really la. today is only the 8th day.. 7th more days to the end of it.

the week efore CNY wwas so packed and busy due to losta celebrations and festive.. dear dear joined in my family reunion at market on friday night.. after that, i followed him to meet his bunk mates for supper at BEDOK.. reached home around 3 plus.. omg.!

sat was spend at home due to menses cramps.. zzz.. dun even feel like eating.. and in the night, delivered pots of orange plant to dear dear and junying house.. den headed to have prata at clementi road.. dear dear actually wanted to come to my house to stay over as we are washing car in the morning.. but kor kor wana use the car.. so plan was put off.. reached home around 1 plus and was locked outside as i didnt bring the key.. the worst thing was my phone was low batt and i cant make any call.. no choice but to go to the coffee shop downstairs to borrow phone to make rescue call to dear dear.. drove over to get the key and came home..

sun was spend to wake up very early at 7am to wash car car.. den breakfast with family and also dear dear.. den went to do some last minute shopping..

started work for 2 days le.. so far is ok la.. just that sometimes when i dun have things to do, it can be really boring.. cos there is no internet to be used.. zzz.. how boing and stupid the place can be..

2009-01-18T21:56:00.002+08:00

575

PICS ARE HERE.!

i dun really remember when they are taken.. so sorry about it.. hehe..

something that i just manage to learn to draw

flower on my cousin's wedding day

bear bear

~CHUNHUI BIRTHDAY~

~MY BIRTHDAY CELEBRATION AT PIZZA HUT WITH QIUPING AND MINFENG~

ZUMING n ME

eeyore

~Prawning Session~

~Latern Festival~
*ME, DEAR DEAR, JUNYING, ERIC, YUUN MIIN and HER BF*

~Chill Out~
*ME, DEAR DEAR, MINFENG, KAIXU, QIUPING and FRIENDS*

~Market Celebration*

~ME n DEAR DEAR~

CHUNHUI hostel

*4th Month Anniversary @ TAO's*

*before*

*after*

*Tekong Day*

first book out.

on the way to get my ds

*Marina Barrage*

*ECP*

*Mount Faber*

that's all everyone.. off to sleep le.. omg.! is so late now..nitex to all out there.!

2009-01-18T21:37:00.003+08:00

574

as i promised, i'm uploading all my pics now and i will blog them out.. hehe.. waiting for the very slow photobucket to be done..

some updates, life have been quite smooth.. gotten a job and will start work in feb.. tomorrow need to go down to sign the appointment letter..

got into a heat with dear dear today.. black faced.. hopefully he is better now.. haiz.. all my fault.. sorry..

2009-01-13T00:10:00.002+08:00

573

i know that cobwebs are growing.. dun scream at me.. even dear dear is saying that i seldom update le.. omg.!

anyway, dear dear is quite slow in knowing that i change the outlook of my blog le.. which was like very long ago la.. omg.! he is always so WOLS.!

anyway, so updates, me and dear dear just celebrated our belated 7th months anniversary.. thanks for everything dear dear.. thanks for being there when i need you.. thanks for lending me your shoulder when i needed one.. ad also thanks for lending me your ears to listen to my complaints.. I LOVE YOU WITH ALL MY HEART AND SOUL.! WO AI NI.!

ok.. enough of mussy mussy thing.. i'm now currently going to be jobless le.. cos i'm not really into the job i'm in now.. i wana look for new job.! omg.! who got lobang ar.

anyway, i still got losta pictures not uploaded yet.. i will ry to do it asap.. anyway, gona go le.. tmr still needa wake upearly to do some stuffs..

take care evryone.!

2008-12-26T14:29:00.002+08:00

572

MERRY XMAS to all.!
though i'm abit late la.. hehe.. really starting to think that cobwebs are starting to grow here le.. and also all my pictures are due to be uploaded.. omg.!

anyway, dear der gave me a photo album of our pics together and i love it.. omg.! dear dear.. thanks alot for everything.. thanks for even trying to steal my memory card which was caught by me.. hehe..

anyway, another news for people always here, i'm no longer working le.. companyis cutting cost and i'm the lucky one.! therefore, starting to look for job again.. any one got recommendation.?

2008-12-10T08:11:00.002+08:00

571

back in office once again.. i'm early today.. but my mood now is very down.. damn down actually.. i dunno wad to say..

all these while, i'm being keeping things to myself.. i have never ever tell you wad is deep down in me.. wad i know that you might not know that i know..

i remember that you once said that i dun ever keep things to myself.. i will share.. but i guess, you are wrong.. or maybe you just dunno me well enough ba..

you have never ask me too.. i guess wad i expect from you is too much that you can never fulfil..

just want to be alone for the time being..

2008-12-06T11:02:00.000+08:00

570

i know that it has been donkey years since i'm here la.. birthday has over.. and i was actually feeling very down during my celebration due to some issues, but got over it after that.

anyway, in office now.. zzz.. doing a report on wad i did last week and i'm trying my best to remember.. omg.! i'm bad with people..

gotten go off.. today is dear dear de last day at Tekong le.. booking out soon.. i think.. not sure about the timing also.. also not sure if i can make it to go fetch him.. hopefully i can.. hehe.. going out to celebrate my belateed birthday tonight with Alex and gang.. going to see how his gf look like.. oopx.!

2008-11-29T09:14:00.002+08:00

569

yipess.! counting down to my birthday le.! hehe.. happy happy.. and i have gotten my first present le.. YEAH.!

going out for dinner with peers tonight to celebrate.. yipee.! now waiting for my dear dear to buy me breafast.. in the meantime, i i'm watching HOTSHOT.!

2008-11-17T08:10:00.002+08:00

568

i know that it has been ages since i'm here.. and i'm so sorry for that.. being so tired recently.. omg.! ever know when is sleep enough for me la.. totally dun feel like working.. miss the life whereby i'm slacking..

today is the start of dear dear de field camp.. i wonder if he will enjoy it.. LOLx.! anyway, never heard of anyone enjoying field camp de..

got to find out some thigns recently.. i know that i'm thinking too much.. but i mean if you know that i dun like, why must you continue and hide it from me.? sucks la.. and if you think you tell her everything, den ok lorx.. forget it.. i dun need to know..

off to go do some work le.. later still got meeting.. really feel like sleeping la..

2008-10-24T20:32:00.002+08:00

567

back here again.. dear dear has gone into army @ Tekong le.. can no longer meet him as and when i like le.. no more surprise.. no more meting up..

haix.. i'm starting to miss him le.. though is only 3 days.. he will be out on sunday and back into camp on mon le..

went to Tekong to send my dear dear the last seperation.. with his parents and kor kor.. saw jiayong, mlton and kaixu there..

now waiting for WAY WAY to call and say meet-up.. den we shall go for PRATA session.. hehe..

gotten go.. watching desperate housewives again.. hehe..

2008-10-04T13:00:00.002+08:00

566

hehe.. here to post a short entry before i leave office.. work has ended le.. but not yet leacing cos waiting for MINFENG.! hehe..

anyway, here to wish my brother, AH WEI, HAPPY 20TH BIRTHDAY.! hehe.. hope you really enjoy the day from your heart.. though alot of things happen recently, i still wana tell you, BE STRONG.! we can go through it and be older and wiser again.. part and parcel of life..

hehe.. that's all.. take care everyone.. haha.. all those going into army, JIAYOU.!

and also to WAYWAY, i dunno if you will come herre or tag me la.. but just wana tell you, MAKE A DECISION AND DUN REGRET.. else life will be very tong gu after that cos you will have to live with regrets.. we are now wiser le.. we will remember things that we regret le.. so please dun walk that path.. no matter wad, we this group of FRENZ/BROTHERS are forever here.. no matter how early or how late, i'm just a call or sms away.. take care..

2008-10-03T08:20:00.002+08:00

565

being long since i blog le.. omg.! 3 weeks of work is neding soon le.. omg.! is quite hectic.. and yup i'm coping well..

anyway, WAYWAY, JIAYONG and MILMIL are going to army soon le.. next week.. and i will so boring after that.. no more night activities.. but also meaning that i'm left with little time to acc DEAR DEAR also.. zzz..

anyway, many things have happen recently.. just wana tell my frenz to be strong.. me too.. i will be strong.. hehe. we can go through all these.. no worries.. jia you.!

2008-09-11T02:54:00.002+08:00

564

PICTURES

ZOO[01/08/08]

enterance

map

tickets

Animals

red butt monkey

elephant

kangaroo

this is the only pig that we manage to find

rhino

zebra

giraffe

cheetah

sealion

penguin

turtle

whte tiger

crocodile

US

NATIONAL DAY[09/08/08]
Me n JunYing

Fireworks

GENTING[18/08/08]

2008-09-11T02:49:00.002+08:00

563

he's away.. zzz.. and i'm missing.. haix..

anyway, i'm starting work on monday le.. end of my holiday le.. no more playing le.. zzz.. seriously sianz la. emo..

anyway,someone keep pestering me to upload pics.. so i shall do it..

see the next post.. sorry for the delay..

2008-09-05T18:13:00.002+08:00

562

I'm using itouch to blog.. Omg.! I'm loving it.. Gona steal it home.. Wahaha.!

2008-09-04T18:18:00.002+08:00

561

been long since i last posted a blog.. hehe.. i know people are missing me.. so sorry about that..

anyway, just an update.. i'm officially out of school le.. yup.. no longer have to go school le.. yeah.! but i still have not gotten my DIPLOMA.. gona wait for the results for the last sem to be out.. and i'm also not working now.. omg.!

life been so hectic recently cos i have to keep going for interviews and stuffs.. and also, i been playing alot recently.. WAYWAY made me play mahjong till late night or early morning lorx.. omg.! sometimes really wonder why i have so much energy.. haha..

anyway, meeting CHUNHUI tmr at NTU.. hehe.. been long since i last met her also.. i guess.. oopx.! anyway, take care everyone.!

p/s: the next post gona be losta pics.. so beware..

2008-08-08T01:53:00.002+08:00

560

i'm so so so tired now.. i'm suppose to be on my bed le.. but just a sms, i'm now in front of my computer again.. thinking that you will be here.. but it's all my wishful thinking.. no matter wad, i guess i can only see you when i'm dead or dying ba.. i guess this is the best an wei sentence that i can find for myself now..

being watching they kissed again 2 and feel that i'm so like xiang qing.. i dunno if i can really be as strong as her.. cos i'm starting to feel tired.. everytime when i wish you are here, you will never appear.. even when i'm sick..

most of the time when i need you, you're not there.. dun you think so.? you have been sick before and i have once left you alone to face the sickness.. you should know how sucks the feeling is to be left alone when you need someone.. but i guess you have already forgotten the feeling le.. cos i'm always there for you..

2008-08-01T01:04:00.004+08:00

559
this entries is full of pics which i should have uploaded very long time ago.. but i'm too busy.. so sorry.. enjoy ba..

[GENTING TRIP 23/04/08 - 25/04/08]

playeed mahjong the night before we headed to GENTING.!

EEYORE n TIGGER

out in the cold

CHUNHUI n MILTON playing archery

DINGYANG n ME while they are playing archery

[STEAMBOAT]

FOOD

JUNYING n ME

[WEST COAST PARK]

MR ANG

MS ONG

JUNYING

JUNYING n ME

Crippled _______ (guess yourself)

New Digi Cam

[AH HEE BDAE]

MUM's stall

Frenz

CAKE.!

BIRTHDAY BOI

ME n SAN DI UNCLE

[28/07/08]

ME

LINGFEI

[Eeyore]

[STORY BY MR ANG DINGYANG
ABOUT MR MILTON KWEK]

it all started with MILTON. he was just a single man who enjoyed cycling so much that he cycle everyday.

the day that he stopped cycling was when he found his love and brought her to the beach to enjoy themselves.

however, happy moments dun last long. soon the girl left her and he decided that it is time to have someone to accmpany him so he bought a dog as a replacement for the boredom in him.

after walking his dogs for months, it passed away and MILTON decided that he should take up jogging.

never did anyone expects that running can take his life away. leaving his the other half and child behind. but he never left them. he is always by their side. running with them.

Ben n Jerry's ice-cream

ice-cream cake

GAYS

Mahjong

GENTING with ITP frenz

Nice Sky

wonderful chocolate

US

2008-07-25T14:12:00.002+08:00

558

being long since i last came here to update.. almost a month le.. omg.! really totally busy..

today is the last day of week 15 le.. meaning that exam is coming soon and i will soon be off from school.. wosh.! cant wait for that day sia..

so much have happen recently.. and i am very tired le.. both physically and mentally.. just wana take a break from all these things.. i know that you assure me that everything is going to be fine.. and that i should trust you.. but......... for so long le.. we are still avoiding on the topic.. dun you think so.? i dun wana give you pressure.. just waiting for you to arrange a day where you are free to talk.. think about wad i told you on wed morning.. does it really make sense or is it only my wishful thinking.?

haiz.. now the stupid blackboard is down.. meaning i cant submit my assignment.. zzz.. gona keep a lookout for it.. else i will get 0 le.. gotten go le.. off to take a rest.. really very tired le..

2008-06-30T23:00:00.003+08:00

557

manage to finish reading my first chinese storybook.. omg.! you're not seeing things.. i'm really reading chinese.. and the story isnt that bad.. just that dun really have an ending..

'good relationship and bad relationship': how to judge it.? it all depends on how you see things.. everything will start off good.. but in between.? the ending.? it all depends..

anyway, i'm in trouble with a xiao di di.. really XIAO lorx.! he is like younger than my youngest bro la.. omg.! 15 only.. i so cant believe it.. and mo ren is laughing at me lorx.. *humpx*

2008-06-20T16:13:00.003+08:00

556

struggling with my assignment.. omg.! i really dunno wad to write and how to do la.. zzz.. save me.! someone.!

many projects and tests in hand.. and losta things to do.. omg.! i dun really think i have enough time.. haiz.. school's starting soon and i dunno how to hand in all my assignment in time.. hopefully i still can manage ba..

started a new thing.. a different thing.. i dunno if you will come here.. but just wana tell you that i know that i'm in the wrong.. but.... please give me some time.. i will try my best.!

2008-06-05T01:39:00.003+08:00

555

think mushrooms are going in my blog le.. so sorry.. hasnt been blogging for very long.. oopx.!

having holiday now.. no exactly holiday la.. alot of assignment to do also.. muz jiayou le.. cant slack much..

anyway MILTON gotten his licence le.. congrats.! and i have been took around in a ride by him.. thanks..

p/s: i'm not giving you any pressure.. i just wan you to know that when you are ready, let me know.. we will den see how things go..

2008-05-15T19:01:00.003+08:00

554

pissed with someone.. my message to that someone.. i dun understand why you dun like peace.. you just wana make a whole lot of problems out den you will be happy is it.? i totally dun understand.. are you even a human with feelings.?

you wan everyone to have a fight.. quarrel.. den will you be happy is it.? if that is the case, congrats.. you have done it BITCH.! i just feel like slapping you last night.. do you even have a fucking sense aware of wad you have said and wad you have done.?

do you have to be so selfish that you dun care about others and only think about yourself.? FUCK.! claiming that you are elder den me.. so..... wad do you know how to do.? have you ever spare a thought for the family..

i'm younger than you but at least i know things that are going on.. since i'm in sec, i have learnt that communication in home can only be done in the stall.. when mum and dad are back from there, they are too tired to even bother about wad is happening in us.. moreover, most of your days are freaking spend outside till late night.. WAD THE FUCK KIND OF COMMUNICATION DO YOU WAN.? and also, if you do not know, no one dares to talk too much with you cos of your temper and attitude.. one wrong word or sentence, that is, you just storm off like no one's business..

seriously, think.... since when have you ever wan things and everyone in the family dun give in to you.? you claim that you are broke.. no matter wad, even if we are broke also, we will also lent you money.. dun wan you to go out without money.. when you wana use com, we also will just give into you.. but..... have you ever done that.? have you ever take all those into notice.?

if he is to know that you smoke, do you think he will bring cigarettes for you also.? he dotes on you the most.. no matter how broke he is, just a sentence, he will lend you money le.. did he ever complain.? did he ever wana get back from you again.? but.... do you even have a fucking idea how much hurt you put him in.? how much quarrel he caused him to have starting from last night.? NO. YOU HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA.! cos you are too selfish le..

go think about it on your freaking own la.. 25 in age.. if you still think that wad you did last night was right, there is nothing i can comment on..

2008-05-14T06:56:00.002+08:00

553

MORNING.! yupx.. you are not seeing things.. MS NG KAIXIN is awake at this time.. i just woke up only.. gona prepare notes for lecture later.. the biggest secret: THIS IS THE FIRST LESSON THAT I'M ATTENDING AFTER THE 5 WEEKS OF SCHOOL.! oopx.!

anyway, didnt really sleep well last night.. kept waking up.. i dunno why.. maybe keep thinking of the lecture later ba.. omg.! stress.!

2008-05-05T15:48:00.002+08:00

552

bored.! nothing to do.. so i'm here blogging.. alot happen these few days.. good and bad.. dun have to elaborate..

anyway, bro is coming back tmr at 7am.. and i gona go fetch him from the airport.. tired.. so early.. i gona wake up early lorx.. but i can get to have the car tmr.. gona sleep early today.. cheers.!

2008-05-02T00:42:00.002+08:00

551

yupx.. i should be sleeping de.. but just got back home from supper and gossipping.. i know your secret.. shhh.!

decided to settle some school stuffs done before i'm off to my bed.. have a very slacking day today..

omg.! weather is killing me la.. seriously, i just prefer to stay in my car whole day or on the air con in my room for the day.. the weather is murdering me soon..

off to bed le.. on-ed the aircon.. whoo.! anyway, i enjoyed myself alot since the trip.. and i dunno how things will process from there.. but........ i hope it is good.. you know wad i mean...

2008-04-26T20:00:00.001+08:00

550

i'm back from GENTING le.. both happy and sad la.. dun wana elaborate too much.. anyway, will upload some of the pics taken when i can.. i promise i will do it either tmr or mon.. catchaya..

2008-04-22T17:26:00.001+08:00

549

back for a short post.. going overseas soon le.. hehe.. wonder where i'm going right.? hehe.. i'm going to GENTING.! going to CHUNHUI de house later in the night.. den going to set off to take the coach tmr morning le.. hehe..

2008-04-20T22:31:00.001+08:00

548

went to shopping yesterday afternoon with my les.. finally la.. after so long.. omg.! and we spend losta money on shopping.. and also we had a wonderful dinner.. hehe..

anyway, feeling so damn pissed now.. just got scolded by mum and dad for something that is not even my fucking fault la.. and also an irritating sis calling to say her VODKA is missing when in the first place, she is the one that didnt wan it.. FUCK.!

2008-04-17T23:06:00.004+08:00

547

I MISS alot of things like:
SHOPPING
BESTIE
LES
FRENZ
NPCC
COLLEAGUES
~~YOU~~

2008-04-14T02:16:00.003+08:00

546

back.. attachment had ended on sat.. finally gotten rid of that low pay.. but...... i really miss the ppl there.. tmr is going to school le.. no longer office le.. guess, it is weird ba.. anyway, i hope that i can go back to work during school reopen as part time.. else, i will be rotting again.. zzz..

anyway, alot of things happen recently.. but.... i'm glad that they are all solved.. except for 1.... since TUESDAY, i have not heard anything le.. not even a sms or call.. nor msn.. i smsed you.... but.... haiz.. i really wish i know wad is in your mind.. i just dunno how to ask you..

anyway, gona go sleep le.. tmr still got school.. zzz.. jia you for the new sem ba.!

2008-04-08T08:18:00.003+08:00

545

didnt go to work today because was sick and tired.. just wana rest at home.. but yet, i can sleep.. zzz.. so fan la.. MY SLEEP.!

anyway, after this post, i will be away for good.. going to try to think how to solve the problem that i have last night.. sorry if most of you cant find me during the period.. take care everyone..

_PICTURES_

_office phone_

_precious moment_

~ME~

_home_

_mrt_

_dunno_

_car_

_chalet_

_market_

_office_

~EEYORE~

_giant_

_office wallpaper_

_CHUNHUI n EEYORE_

~daddy birthday~

~heavy rain~

~MONSTER~

~HOSPITAL~

_hand tag_

_heart beat_

_irritating machine_

_plug with drip drop_

_new shoe_

2008-04-07T22:24:00.002+08:00

544

just got home not long.. and yupx.. i'm happy.. though just now i felt angry sad and stuffs but now, things arent this way le.. cos of a call.. thanks lots.. take care.. have a good rest before we talk or meet up again.. dun wana see a zombie.. oopx.!

anyway, ya.. talking about my 'angry sad and stuffs'.. things were ok last week between both of us.. but it has changed this week.. and the most fucking thing is, i'm not the first one who do the wrong thing yet i have to bear the consequence.. nabeh.! wad the fuck la.! cant the problem be solved like how all adults do things.? think again, how long can you avoid.? do you wana make the genting trip a bad one also.? this is all to 'you know who'..

i really got the rush in me to drive my car up to your house area and talk to you face-to-face.. wad do you wan from me.? but my qn is, will you know the ans yourself.? or do you need me to help you to think of one.? FUCK.!

can we settle this peace and quietly or will we settle it like a BIG WAR.?

2008-04-06T22:36:00.002+08:00

543

nabeh.! actually wana upload pics de.. but dunno why my uploading got problem lorx.. zzz.. i found the cables le.. just that needa upload it online nia.. omg.!

2008-04-05T22:22:00.002+08:00

542

i relly got no idea where my cable is.. or should i say that i got no time to find.. hehe.. forgot to check office today.. should be there la.. i guess.. omg.! my memory is getting worst le.. LOLx.!

anyway, being out the whole say since after work.. and also went to library to borrow a book just now.. hehe.. hope that it is nice.. oopx.!

anyway, next week is my last week at attachment le.. so fast.. 9 weeks so fast ending le.. wonder what will happen after that.. anyway, heard that TP de coming soon to cover us.. hopefully things will not change much la.. hehe.. i know some of the staffs there will miss me de.. oopx.! you know la..

i seriously think i needa find my cable soon le.. omg.! else my phone really got too much le.. ahhhh.!

2008-04-04T21:07:00.000+08:00

541

i know i promise to upload things here.. but i really have no idea where is my cable at.. zzz.. i think i left it at office.. but not much possiblity la.. anyway, will try to find it asap.. i promise..

2008-04-03T21:32:00.002+08:00

540

thanks for all of them de concern.. i'm ok le.. but still the fear is there la.. no one can help me in this except for myself.. let time and things around me to assist me with it ba..

anyway, asked my HR manager today if i can continue working there after my ITP ended as my timetable is quite relax la.. plus with me going to work, it will also ensure that i go for school.. cos i wont be thinking that for 1 lesson, might as well dun go.. oopx.! anyway, hope to hear good news soon..

gona upload my pics into my com in a few minutes time.. provided i can find my transfer cable.. i'm having difficulties with it.. omg.! or shall i do it tmr.? hehe.. let's see if i can find it or not..

came home very late that day and saw 3 drunken man under my block.. nabeh.! and the most fucking thing is, the lift at my block happened to be spolit.. FUCK.! how suay can a person be.. no choice but to take the stairs.. and i was so scared that i called.. but............ as expected, nv pick up.. there for others but not me..

anyway, off to bed le.. too lazy to do the tranfer also.. will do it tmr.. and update it here.. i promise to try.. hehe.. *smart move*

2008-04-02T22:16:00.002+08:00

539

being very stressed recently with things around me.. i have fear.. fear in one very important thing.. some may know.. some may not.. you can see that i act very normal when i'm doing it.. but actually, deep down in me, i'm not ok.! the feeling in me is something that i dun think anyone can imagine nor feel.. it really sux.. the butterfly in the stomach.! the nervous.! the panic.! the fear.! the worries.! they are all there.. i really dunno wad to do..

if i am given a choice, i will not do that thing for the time being.. cos i really have fear in it.. sorry if i let anyone down.. but most importantly, i have let myself down.. sorry.! *sobx sobx*

being alone really sux.. i really dunno who i can confide to.. because no one ever understand it.. the feeling in me.! the stress.! most important.. FEAR.!

just wana be alone for tonight.. to cry out everything in me.. to try to get rid of every fear and wadeva that is disturbing my mood and feeling.. i'm so unbalance now..

2008-03-19T18:24:00.002+08:00

538

omg.! i cant believe it.. in less than 24 hours, i have saw 3 accidents on the road le..

first: 15 cars straight 'kissing' into each other on PIE(CHANGI AIRPORT) near to eunos exit.
second: GTO and SILVERCAB along pasir ris..
third: 2 cars 'kissing' forgot on which road le.

2008-03-16T15:45:00.003+08:00

537

everything is fine now.. finally.. feel so happy.. oopx.! i'm so lucky..

drove back from mum de stall just now.. and the rain is so huge.. omg.! almost totally cant see the road lorx.. the worst rain that i have ever drove in before..

i'm so tired now.. going off too sleep le.. den later gona go get my things done..

2008-03-11T20:52:00.002+08:00

536

1 month has passed for my ITP le.. and i have changed my seating about 10 times around in the office le.. and i am changing again tmr.. the longest i ever sit at a place is 1 week plus.. definitely less than 2.. omg.! hopefully tmr will be the last time i needa change le ba..

i'm not the worst in my department.. oopx.!

so much happen recently.. office is getting worst due to one woman.. zzz.. and i have been damn quiet these 2 days.. cos being thinking and dreaming alot in work today.. superb tired.. just wana sleep..

anyway, still wana thank one person.. thanks for letting me know that i have done a wrong thing again.. a wrong move again.. i guess, it is all the same ba.. i can nv differentiate wad is wrong and correct at first.. boo.! thanks for everything and the lesson taught..

gona go sleep le.. really superb tired.. just wana have an early night today.. busy busy since ITP starts..

2008-03-06T22:05:00.002+08:00

535

still feeling abit of pain in my stomach.. but still ok la.. can take it.. anyway, work was abit heavy recently.. being doing losta scanning since i'm back to work.. scan scan scan.. suppose to be CT doing de.. but i guess, she was way to busy to handle le.. so get me to help..

more and more things to do.. but the good thing is although i'm doing losta scanning, i still manage to get second in the no of calls that we picked up.! yeah.! *clap clap*

just bought a pair of shoe just now.. and i'm still wondering, does it really suit me.? LOLx.! i'm still wondering..

mood is down now.. zzz.. i dunno la.. sometimes, i really wonder why i even bother to do so much when no one care.. nabeh.! everything in my life is always like that de.. relationshhip.. friends.. family.. everything.. fuck.!

had a dream last night.. one of those dream that i always wish i can have in really life with you.. but this morning when i woke up, i told myself.. i nv want this dream to come true.. cos it will only bring more hurt and sadness to both of us.. the reason for me to be so determined now will always be remembered..

2008-03-04T21:59:00.002+08:00

534

didnt go to work today.. because wasnt feeling well.. was admitted into hospital last night at 2 plus.. cos i was having a bad stomach and fainted numerous time... omg.!

the doc took my blood and urine for tests.. but nothing was wrong.. i also dunno why.. blood pressure went very low since last night.. the lowest was 70/50.. and highest was only 93/56.. it just shows that maybe it is my blood pressure that causes me to faint..

anyway, doc only gave me 1 day of mc.. gona go back to work tomorrow le.. stomach still hurts.. zzz..

2008-03-02T22:31:00.003+08:00

533

here to post again.. before it really become so dead.. omg.! i will try to post at least once a week..

anyway, tmr is the fourth week of work le.. quite enjoyable and also sad.. stressed.. 3 IOs are in my department.. and........ i'm the only one that is learning to do the most thing.. pick up calls.. ans customer de qns.. help them with some difficult customer.. assist them.. fax eticket.. scan eticket.. email eticket.. cover for the operator downstairs during her lunch.. and many more.. log book got losta things to write.. but......... should i be happy or sad about it.? i'm so not sure..

i know that they think that i'm capable.. doing many things.. but......... seriously, i hope everyone know how to do it also.. wad if 1 day, i cant come work.? den who shall do it.? at first, moved my place to a location that i like alot.. but..... now, i changed place again.. so that nearer to scanner..

anyway, enough of all the unhappy things la.. i'm still glad to be there.. cos at least, i made some frenx.. and we are having IO dinner tmr night.. hehe.. having steamboat.. i think.. not very sure also la.. cos not i plan de..

think that my body can really adapt very well.. been busy since saturday morning.. woke up at 7am.. bath-ed.. work-ed.. movie-ed.. home-ed.. mahjong-ed.. hasnt sleep for almost the whole of yesterday night.. played mahjong till 12 plus 1.. den cant really get to sleep cos i was shivering in cold.. and i just cant sleep no matter wad i do.. ended up, only slept for like 30 mins and i am off to help mum in the stall again.. after that, come home bath-ed, vooooo.. out i go... hehe.. went to find VALENTIA at vivo.. hehe..

went to many places today with JUNYING.. and also got lost like siao again.. normal.! making losta crazy actions on he road also.. omg.! *bad*

gona go le.. tmr still needa work.. wana go rest le.. else, my body really cant take it anymore.. still thinking if i should go and attend NPCC de camp next saturday and sunday.? but seriuosly, i wana go.. *thinking*

"i followed my heart.. but was it a right thing.? i'm so not sure."

2008-02-24T20:22:00.002+08:00

532

bad bad day.! been 2 weeks since attachment start.. tmr is the start of 3rd week there le.. and JUSTIN MONREAL(LO) is coming in tmr to see me.. finally.! everyone de LO come le.. except mine lorx.. and he claim that there are 4 of his IO student in my company.. i wonder who are the other 3..

feeling quite shag recently.. working everyday.. mon to sun.! tired tired tired.! think it is time for me to have a good rest also.. going to sleep soon also.. very tired.................

so much have happen today.! 4 dates...... but i ended up at home........... cos............. i dun wish to say le.. some happy.. some sad.. some my actions.. some arent mine..

2008-02-23T21:09:00.002+08:00

531

bought a fortune cookie to eat just now.. and in the cookie, there is a note written:
"always listen to your heart"
i'm thinking back.. someone always tell me a sentence.. something that hurts me really deep.. the sentence is:
"dun use your heart to think. try using your tiny brain."[you never know how much the hurt is to hear this sentence. even though it was from a friend. i admit i maybe toot at times. but i dun see the need to have to emphasize that i have a tiny brain.]

2008-02-22T21:33:00.002+08:00

530

time for the pics that are taken long long ago.. long long ago.. hehe.. heavily loaded.. sorry..

CARWASH.!

_dead leaves_

_clearing leaves_

_who is at the roof_

_side view_

_me_

BANGKOK.!

_me n sis_

_me_

_mum sis n me_

_twin bro_

_bangkok school_

_nail_

_nail-less toe_

_manique_

_fabulous noodle stall_

_baibai_

_night market_

_boarding pass_

_eeyore_
(yesh.! i brought it onto the plane)

_on plane_

_fishes_

VALENTINE'S DAY.!

_from shihan_

_from liwei_

_together_
(like it without LINGFEI de HEAD)

together_

2008-02-21T21:21:00.003+08:00

529

finally got time to blog le.. being busy with attachment and also my own life recently.. hehe.. so sorry that i am ignoring my blog le.. omg.! anyway, i'm once again addicted to shopping again.. hehe..

work this week is busy and hassle like siao.. due to 2 of the full-time telephone operator are gone and no one is there to assist.. leaving us 3 IO and 1 part-timer to face the music.. face the hell..

this whole week alot of staff on leave.. as they are on holiday.. at hongkong.. they enjoy while the rest are like working like crazy.. my sales leads is like 100 plus at the end of the day.. meaning no one calling customer back. and some of the crazy people will come barking at us lorx.. but some of them are really very nice.. and also understanding la..

anyway, enough of work.. everyone de LO came to office le.. except mine.. cos he is too busy.. he say he is coming next monday.. hehe.. i really wonder if will he really come lorx.. oopx.!

anyway, just went for CARSLBERG de lunar dinner last sunday.. and....... i got check upon entering.. zzz.. cos is M18 program due to beer and therefore, i got check by the bouncers.. the good thing is... i look young.. LOLx.! quite irritated also la.. cos i keep forgetting to bring my card out with me..

life has been in some mess recently.. dunno how to explain... but all i can say is.. i dunno wad to do.. i dunno wad all the actions meant.. i dunno.................

2008-02-18T22:10:00.002+08:00

528

omg.! i cant find my wallet.. i hope i left it in the office lorx.. else.. ahhhh.! i'm so blur blur..

2008-02-12T19:07:00.001+08:00

527

attachment was fun and tiring.. got the post as a telephone operator and i have being picking up calls everyday..

fun to have very funny colleagues in my department who talks very openly and dirty.. LOLx.! but overall, they are great..

tired and fed-up at times when you meet unreasonable customer who keep demanding people to serve them.. cant you like understand that everyone is busy.? zzz.! stupid ass..

anyway, doubt i will be able to keep blogging.. cos ended work at 6pm.. reached home at 7pm and i just feel like sleeping.. so damn tired.. plus bro is always using the computer.. i dun get to touch it.. zzz..

being sleeping very late recently.. just wana have a good rest today.. cos going out tmr again.. *sigh*

got to go .. take care.. dun even know when i will update again..